My weight loss saga-- to be continued

So I've always obsessed about weight and my body-- since I was in 4th grade in fact. I'm scheduling an appointment with a therapist at the top of August to start delving into the real issues about me and my body image. I need to feel like the frustration, yo-yo dieting, obsession with food, depression and consequential pressure on my relationships isn't singular. I need to start working towards being healthier.

So here I am- I started the SB diet about a month ago at 210 lbs and got down to 202... I'm now at 204.5 and am starting a new plan. I'm going to do 5 meals a day, lots of water, 1100-1200 calories and working out. In about a week I'm slowly going to wean myself back into vegan-eating (since I LOVE eating vegan). That's the only way I've ever been successful at losing weight. I've tried so many diets, and have learned a lot through all of them but have ultimately been unsuccessful in the long-term.

I'm starting to realize that I might have an ED-NOS, but I'm not sure. Something is wrong with me though, and I've struggled with it for long enough. I'm turning 20 in a month and I don't want this obsession and struggle to continue. I want to a) resolve issues with myself,b) learn to like who I am regardless of dress size and c) get down to a comfortable weight.

I've lost almost 20lbs this past year, but I have a long ways to go. My first goal is 188lbs (10% loss). I've never weighed less that 180, so I'll see what my ideal weight is when I get to it. I'm thinking 165-175lbs. Here are my stats:

Height: 5'9"
CW: 204.5
SW: 209
HW: 230
GW1: 188

Now onto the pictures of my struggle, which I'll update once I hit the 10%.


Me now, around 203-210 lbs: :piggy:
PICTURE
PICTURE

Me at 220lbs a year ago (Jesus....):
PICTURE

Me at 191lbs (almost three years ago):
PICTURE

Me at my lowest weight ever, around 185lbs:
PICTURE



That's that. Here we go!! Wish me luck, and I'll see you all back when I'm at 188lbs!!